A lot of people discredit that small still voice that nudges them along. Sometimes, being afraid of taking the risk of failing, or looking the fool, or being wrong altogether are the reasons that the quiet voice is pushed aside. We have been trained that bigger is better. The squeaky wheel gets oiled, therefore if it is not a totally brilliant idea where a lot of people are encouraging and pushing you along, we tend to discount quiet still voice that is gently prodding us to expand our horizons.
It is scary to take a step of faith for something that may or may not work out. That is what life experience is for, trying new things. Going on hunches, having adventures, believing in something enough to see it through even when you don't have overwhelming support. I am not very technically minded, but that does not mean that I don't appreciate the technology that we have today. That very technology phones, computers, internet, television, and the ever handy gps are products of people who have gone on hunches and ideas. Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell were the early pioneers that took their ideas, and people thought them crazy and eccentric, and these men proved them wrong. Now the modern pioneers are still looked at as odd balls, but they are odd balls living pretty comfortably. Steve Jobs, James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau invented the phone tooth, or how about Dr. Joseph Rizzo and Professor John Wyatt - haven't heard of them? Well, they invented the microelectronic retinal implant to restore vision to patients with age-related macular degeneration and blindness.
These people all started out with an idea and they followed it through. The idea is often intuition, leading, guiding, and prodding. It is not loud, does not shout, it is not rude. We all fail sometimes, that is part of life. It is not fun, it is not glorious, but it is learning and teaching us what does not work, often times giving us a better idea of what does work. The key to honing in on your intuition, is to let yourself be quiet, let yourself play, allow yourself to explore, and put aside what others think or say. "You can't please all the people all the time" Abe Lincoln has been quoted, and he is right. Be true to your inner voice, get advice, weigh it and check it and if it gives peace to your soul, follow it.
What are your dreams, your inspirations that you have cast off and put aside because someone said that wasn't a good idea? Do they still hold a spot in your mind and heart? Take a chance, life is too short not to. Have you ever noticed that old people rarely regret the things they did, only the things that they didn't do? Listen to your intuition, often times it will lead you down the road of happiness.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Wanderlust
I just finished reading Jodi Piccolt's book, Songs of the Humpback Whale, a story about a family in a crisis and how they attempt to work through it all. It is an interesting story in several ways, perhaps the one facet that really captured my attention however was the road trip across the United States. I have had the urge to road trip since April, it is beckoning to me, calling my name, compelling me to adventure.
I have never been in one place, one home, so long in my entire life as I have been in Massachusetts. As a child, we moved several times. I have lived in many states, the least favorite of all was Louisiana, too hot, too humid and way too many alligators. Not that it didn't have positives as well, I just don't want to live there again, but I wouldn't mind visiting, the food is amazing.
I am missing the newness, the discovery, the change of plants and trees, local mannerisms, hearing different types of accents. I am missing having new threads of experience added to the tapestry of who I am. With the recent purchase of a used iPod, I have discovered Apple Apps one of which is called Explorer. Explorer takes your location and then branches out with in certain radius permimeters to show you different things around you that you may not have known about. I have learned there is a castle near by that I never knew about. Today, I am going exploring locally, throwing a cookie to my wanderlust. Maybe soon I will get the opportunity to hit the open road and take a longer trip.
I have never been in one place, one home, so long in my entire life as I have been in Massachusetts. As a child, we moved several times. I have lived in many states, the least favorite of all was Louisiana, too hot, too humid and way too many alligators. Not that it didn't have positives as well, I just don't want to live there again, but I wouldn't mind visiting, the food is amazing.
I am missing the newness, the discovery, the change of plants and trees, local mannerisms, hearing different types of accents. I am missing having new threads of experience added to the tapestry of who I am. With the recent purchase of a used iPod, I have discovered Apple Apps one of which is called Explorer. Explorer takes your location and then branches out with in certain radius permimeters to show you different things around you that you may not have known about. I have learned there is a castle near by that I never knew about. Today, I am going exploring locally, throwing a cookie to my wanderlust. Maybe soon I will get the opportunity to hit the open road and take a longer trip.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Miacles are still happening in 2011
Yes.
Miracles are still happening in 2011.
I can boldly state that as a fact, because I have experienced it first hand. I am not what the church would call a good Christian. I admit that. In fact, I have a problem with organized religion as an entity. However, I am a spiritual person who does have a deep faith in God, goodness, love, mercy, honesty, integrity, and peace. I try to stay as positive as possible, avoid negativity - not skepticism, they are different; more on that later, and lead my life so that I have to make as few apologies as necessary.
A year ago, I was hurt at work. I was doing social case work for adults with mental disabilities who live independently in the community at the time. The particular individual I was assisting at the time of the injury was person that do too great in high school, but proceeded to make bad choices as he became an adult and had destroyed what hope he did have of a simple, but normal life by snorting cocaine and frying his brain cells until the bare minimum was left. Not a pillar of society, but not an oddity either. There are more out there than you think, trust me on this one. I was helping this individual get his groceries into his apartment and taking care of rent issues for him. As I was coming out of the apartment building, I fell coming out of the front door of the foyer.
I was seriously hurt, but couldn't leave my car and be transported by ambulance, it is not a good neighborhood. I drove myself to my office, which was empty - outside social workers are rarely at their desks. And then drove myself to the Emergency Room. I left with a sprained right ankle, sprained left foot, bruised right hand, twisted left knee, and pulled left hip. My husband had to come and get me. As I healed, it was apparent that my left knee had sustained more than twisting. I was in constant pain, no pain relievers were able to assist me.
After several doctors visits and evaluations, it was determined that I had Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, RSD for short. The prognosis is not good, hopeful or anywhere near encouraging. Essentially, you have constant burning, throbbing pain, the hair on the appendage stops growing, the nails stop growing, the temperature is different from the other appendage, it even discolors and the pain can and usually does spread. The best the doctors can offer you are either shots or anti-seizure medication. Neither of which is promised to give you complete relief or healing, but a band-aid to the pain.
Coming to terms with being in pain is one thing. Coming to terms with how it effects your life is something completely different. Everything had changed for me. Showering and getting dressed were events that I had to gear up for. Cooking for my family, grocery shopping, even going up and down the stairs were things that I had to time just right or I was in agonizing pain. My life of being a straight A student since I had returned to college a year previous to the accident was over, I could not walk the distance of the campus, I could not work any longer, gourmet cooking - a hobby I enjoyed, was over, I could not garden, ride bikes, go hiking, I had been sidelined to life.
Looking for some purpose in all of this, I watched the movie, The Secret, on Netflix. It is a documentary or rather an instructional film on finding what is the secret to life and happiness. It inspired me to look at things a little differently, to be more mindful of my thoughts, actions, and deeds. I highly recommend it to anyone stuck in a rut, discontent or a place of searching for some meaning.
A few months later, I happened to tune into the Dr. Oz show. Not a regular watcher at all, I noticed he had a faith healer on. I decided to watch the show. I was fascinated by what I heard. I have honestly never put a lot of stock into faith healers or these types of services. The skeptic in me had noted that there was never really documented proof of actual healings, someone would say their back felt better, but who really knew if they were having back problems to begin with? Not doubting, but skeptical, medical records are great proof that things have indeed improved. Dr. Issam Nemeh had several patients whom he had prayed over and these people had experienced healings. They made their records available to Dr. Oz and a team of 12+ doctors who examined the records, followed the cases and could come up with no explanations for why these people were healed of horrible ailments other than miracles. Cancer, lung diseases, fibromyalgia, and diabetes to name a few. I began to do research on Dr. Nemeh, looking for faults to be honest. Looking for scams, looking for testimonies of claiming him to be a fraud, to be something other than an authentic man of faith who had a success record of praying over people who later reported being healed. I could find nothing of the sort. Everything I found about Dr. Issam Nemeh was directed towards his humbleness that I had witness on the television show, his not professing to cure people but to have faith in God's healing powers. For hours I searched. I stopped everything that day to dig deeply and uncover some sort of negative comment, but could not. I was convinced that he, Dr. Nemeh, is authentic.
I called his office that evening, only to find that he was not taking new patients Desperate for relief from the constant pain, I purchased tickets to the soonest prayer healing service that was being held that I could. I then went to Priceline, got a fantastic deal and began looking into what I could do to make myself as ready as possible for this event. Clear up emotional, mental and physical stressors was what was on my agenda for the next month. In short, take care of me. It was not an easy task to undertake. But step by step, I did get everything cleared up before I hit the ground in Chicago.
The first day I arrived at the healing service, not really certain on what I had truly expected to witness. The skeptic in me was observing people coming in. The constant was the pain, suffering, desperation, and hope as each person held on to their ticket, making their way into the ballroom that had been reserved for the healing. I entered the room and took my seat. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Nemeh came to the podium, offered a prayer, then gave a short talk on his beliefs, his faith, and then answered questions from those in attendance. After all questions were answered, an assistant assured everyone that they would indeed have their time of prayer, please be patient, prayerful, and remain an attitude of reverence while waiting your turn. Soft music began to play, and people were called forward in a very systematically orderly fashion.
While I waited, I watched children, and those in wheelchairs go first. I noticed different responses from different people, I heard some testimonies from people whom Dr. Nemeh had prayed over previously and their remarkable experiences of healing. I went up when it was my turn, so hopeful that I would be healed from the ringing in my ears, my 16 year old Bells Palsy and RSD. The doctor came, laid his hands on my and I truly felt a moving experience. I felt a huge wave of nasuea come over me, and for the first time in my 34 years of Christian life, I was slain in the spirit. I rested in that cradling, warm embrace for awhile. I then got up and returned to my seat. I sat for the rest of the service watching the doctor pray. I could still hear my ears ringing, and my knee was still burning, so I had hope for my face. I got back to the car, pulled down the visor and saw that there was no difference. I was a disappointed, honestly. But, I knew I had the ticket for the following day. Again, the skeptic strikes, always have a plan B in case plan A doesn't work out.
The next day, I arrived at the service just before it began, and was able to meet with Dr. Nemeh personally before we entered the room. He told me that my face looked better, and I told him, thank you, but I didn't notice much difference. He said "give it time, you will see." Then I told him about my RSD and he said, "Oh, no problem, we will fix that today, you remind me when I pray over you." That day, I watched pray over a man with chronic emphysema, hooked up to oxygen and hydrogen tanks, who could not stop coughing, and then man ceased coughing. I witnessed him praying over a woman whose spine was so bent over she walked as if she was still sitting, as he prayed over her, her spine straightened out. Then, it was my turn again. The doctor looked at me and said "Are you ready?", I said "Yes", and again, I was slain in the spirit. He walked away and then came back and prayed again. I rested but a moment this time. I got up from the floor and a loud pop came from my knee. Like a balloon being popped with a sharp pin. I looked at my knee and did not notice anything different.
I walked to my car, pulled down the visor and noticed that my face was a little better, not perfect, but it was a little better. I was very tired and wanted to go back to my hotel room to take a nap. As I began driving, I became lost, a very normal event for me during the course of this trip. I checked the GPS on my phone and noticed that I was 10 minutes away from the Chicago Arboretum and decided to go. "I can hobble around for a long time", I told myself ," they don't close until 9, I can do this". I parked the car and ate some lunch, then began walking. That is when I noticed that my leg didn't hurt. Not at all. I decided to try steps, no problem! I tried inclines, my arch nemesis during the last 363 days. NO PROBLEM! Well, if you go up, you have to go down, and I did. I walked fast, I walked slow, I walked until I my feet ached and I had blisters. I could walk without my leg hurting! It was a miracle!
I drove back to the hotel and called my family - "I CAN WALK!!" I was so excited, I had some cheese and crackers for dinner, eating at the counter in my hotel room, balancing first on one foot, and then on the other. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to go for another walk. I put on my sneakers and power walked up and over the overpass by the hotel and then another half mile before I turned around and did it all over again. My leg didn't hurt! No burning, no throbbing, no pain. None. I pranced around in some platform shoes that I had purchased in anticipation of my healing in my hotel room while I packed that night.
My family, my neighbors, my friends who have watched me for the last year were amazed when I came home and they have seen me walking. I praise God for the healing, and thank Dr. Nemeh for his faithfulness to pray without ceasing.
God is still in the miracle business. We need to share our stories and proclaim his goodness.
Wishing you peace and good health,
Cindy
Miracles are still happening in 2011.
I can boldly state that as a fact, because I have experienced it first hand. I am not what the church would call a good Christian. I admit that. In fact, I have a problem with organized religion as an entity. However, I am a spiritual person who does have a deep faith in God, goodness, love, mercy, honesty, integrity, and peace. I try to stay as positive as possible, avoid negativity - not skepticism, they are different; more on that later, and lead my life so that I have to make as few apologies as necessary.
A year ago, I was hurt at work. I was doing social case work for adults with mental disabilities who live independently in the community at the time. The particular individual I was assisting at the time of the injury was person that do too great in high school, but proceeded to make bad choices as he became an adult and had destroyed what hope he did have of a simple, but normal life by snorting cocaine and frying his brain cells until the bare minimum was left. Not a pillar of society, but not an oddity either. There are more out there than you think, trust me on this one. I was helping this individual get his groceries into his apartment and taking care of rent issues for him. As I was coming out of the apartment building, I fell coming out of the front door of the foyer.
I was seriously hurt, but couldn't leave my car and be transported by ambulance, it is not a good neighborhood. I drove myself to my office, which was empty - outside social workers are rarely at their desks. And then drove myself to the Emergency Room. I left with a sprained right ankle, sprained left foot, bruised right hand, twisted left knee, and pulled left hip. My husband had to come and get me. As I healed, it was apparent that my left knee had sustained more than twisting. I was in constant pain, no pain relievers were able to assist me.
After several doctors visits and evaluations, it was determined that I had Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, RSD for short. The prognosis is not good, hopeful or anywhere near encouraging. Essentially, you have constant burning, throbbing pain, the hair on the appendage stops growing, the nails stop growing, the temperature is different from the other appendage, it even discolors and the pain can and usually does spread. The best the doctors can offer you are either shots or anti-seizure medication. Neither of which is promised to give you complete relief or healing, but a band-aid to the pain.
Coming to terms with being in pain is one thing. Coming to terms with how it effects your life is something completely different. Everything had changed for me. Showering and getting dressed were events that I had to gear up for. Cooking for my family, grocery shopping, even going up and down the stairs were things that I had to time just right or I was in agonizing pain. My life of being a straight A student since I had returned to college a year previous to the accident was over, I could not walk the distance of the campus, I could not work any longer, gourmet cooking - a hobby I enjoyed, was over, I could not garden, ride bikes, go hiking, I had been sidelined to life.
Looking for some purpose in all of this, I watched the movie, The Secret, on Netflix. It is a documentary or rather an instructional film on finding what is the secret to life and happiness. It inspired me to look at things a little differently, to be more mindful of my thoughts, actions, and deeds. I highly recommend it to anyone stuck in a rut, discontent or a place of searching for some meaning.
A few months later, I happened to tune into the Dr. Oz show. Not a regular watcher at all, I noticed he had a faith healer on. I decided to watch the show. I was fascinated by what I heard. I have honestly never put a lot of stock into faith healers or these types of services. The skeptic in me had noted that there was never really documented proof of actual healings, someone would say their back felt better, but who really knew if they were having back problems to begin with? Not doubting, but skeptical, medical records are great proof that things have indeed improved. Dr. Issam Nemeh had several patients whom he had prayed over and these people had experienced healings. They made their records available to Dr. Oz and a team of 12+ doctors who examined the records, followed the cases and could come up with no explanations for why these people were healed of horrible ailments other than miracles. Cancer, lung diseases, fibromyalgia, and diabetes to name a few. I began to do research on Dr. Nemeh, looking for faults to be honest. Looking for scams, looking for testimonies of claiming him to be a fraud, to be something other than an authentic man of faith who had a success record of praying over people who later reported being healed. I could find nothing of the sort. Everything I found about Dr. Issam Nemeh was directed towards his humbleness that I had witness on the television show, his not professing to cure people but to have faith in God's healing powers. For hours I searched. I stopped everything that day to dig deeply and uncover some sort of negative comment, but could not. I was convinced that he, Dr. Nemeh, is authentic.
I called his office that evening, only to find that he was not taking new patients Desperate for relief from the constant pain, I purchased tickets to the soonest prayer healing service that was being held that I could. I then went to Priceline, got a fantastic deal and began looking into what I could do to make myself as ready as possible for this event. Clear up emotional, mental and physical stressors was what was on my agenda for the next month. In short, take care of me. It was not an easy task to undertake. But step by step, I did get everything cleared up before I hit the ground in Chicago.
The first day I arrived at the healing service, not really certain on what I had truly expected to witness. The skeptic in me was observing people coming in. The constant was the pain, suffering, desperation, and hope as each person held on to their ticket, making their way into the ballroom that had been reserved for the healing. I entered the room and took my seat. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Nemeh came to the podium, offered a prayer, then gave a short talk on his beliefs, his faith, and then answered questions from those in attendance. After all questions were answered, an assistant assured everyone that they would indeed have their time of prayer, please be patient, prayerful, and remain an attitude of reverence while waiting your turn. Soft music began to play, and people were called forward in a very systematically orderly fashion.
While I waited, I watched children, and those in wheelchairs go first. I noticed different responses from different people, I heard some testimonies from people whom Dr. Nemeh had prayed over previously and their remarkable experiences of healing. I went up when it was my turn, so hopeful that I would be healed from the ringing in my ears, my 16 year old Bells Palsy and RSD. The doctor came, laid his hands on my and I truly felt a moving experience. I felt a huge wave of nasuea come over me, and for the first time in my 34 years of Christian life, I was slain in the spirit. I rested in that cradling, warm embrace for awhile. I then got up and returned to my seat. I sat for the rest of the service watching the doctor pray. I could still hear my ears ringing, and my knee was still burning, so I had hope for my face. I got back to the car, pulled down the visor and saw that there was no difference. I was a disappointed, honestly. But, I knew I had the ticket for the following day. Again, the skeptic strikes, always have a plan B in case plan A doesn't work out.
The next day, I arrived at the service just before it began, and was able to meet with Dr. Nemeh personally before we entered the room. He told me that my face looked better, and I told him, thank you, but I didn't notice much difference. He said "give it time, you will see." Then I told him about my RSD and he said, "Oh, no problem, we will fix that today, you remind me when I pray over you." That day, I watched pray over a man with chronic emphysema, hooked up to oxygen and hydrogen tanks, who could not stop coughing, and then man ceased coughing. I witnessed him praying over a woman whose spine was so bent over she walked as if she was still sitting, as he prayed over her, her spine straightened out. Then, it was my turn again. The doctor looked at me and said "Are you ready?", I said "Yes", and again, I was slain in the spirit. He walked away and then came back and prayed again. I rested but a moment this time. I got up from the floor and a loud pop came from my knee. Like a balloon being popped with a sharp pin. I looked at my knee and did not notice anything different.
I walked to my car, pulled down the visor and noticed that my face was a little better, not perfect, but it was a little better. I was very tired and wanted to go back to my hotel room to take a nap. As I began driving, I became lost, a very normal event for me during the course of this trip. I checked the GPS on my phone and noticed that I was 10 minutes away from the Chicago Arboretum and decided to go. "I can hobble around for a long time", I told myself ," they don't close until 9, I can do this". I parked the car and ate some lunch, then began walking. That is when I noticed that my leg didn't hurt. Not at all. I decided to try steps, no problem! I tried inclines, my arch nemesis during the last 363 days. NO PROBLEM! Well, if you go up, you have to go down, and I did. I walked fast, I walked slow, I walked until I my feet ached and I had blisters. I could walk without my leg hurting! It was a miracle!
I drove back to the hotel and called my family - "I CAN WALK!!" I was so excited, I had some cheese and crackers for dinner, eating at the counter in my hotel room, balancing first on one foot, and then on the other. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to go for another walk. I put on my sneakers and power walked up and over the overpass by the hotel and then another half mile before I turned around and did it all over again. My leg didn't hurt! No burning, no throbbing, no pain. None. I pranced around in some platform shoes that I had purchased in anticipation of my healing in my hotel room while I packed that night.
My family, my neighbors, my friends who have watched me for the last year were amazed when I came home and they have seen me walking. I praise God for the healing, and thank Dr. Nemeh for his faithfulness to pray without ceasing.
God is still in the miracle business. We need to share our stories and proclaim his goodness.
Wishing you peace and good health,
Cindy
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